02小说网

日記（第3页）

Ryōsaidshewouldhavefunwithme，seeingthatImustbejustwaitingforhertomakemeintoatoyofhers。“Bepatient”shetoldme，asIwasdestiobehers。

Midorisaidthatwhenayounggirlwasjustabouttocry，herwateryeyeswouldmakeherheartitch，andtheshimmeringoflightintearsthatwerejustabouttorollwasthemostbeautifulsightintheworld。

Yayoicastaspellonmyneck，andKasumiagreedthatitwouldbeveoturoadolleverynowandthen，soastohaveanespionagedevice。

KasumithenehatIseemedtohaveagoodamountoftalent，probablyonparwithArashi’s，butinmagic。IfIendedupinadvaudies，IcouldtrytoresistthespellafterIfoundacetodetecttherewassomethingunusualonmybody。

Midorithehetopofmyhead，andinvadedmymindandmybodywithhermagic。Flamesengulfedmeontheinside，anditplacedbarrierstopreventgrowthis，whileburningawaymostofmytalentandcapability。

Thefourofthemtookastepbadbowedtheirheads。IwatchedinhorrorasYukariwalkedtowardme，andslowlyraisedafingerofherstowithinafewtimetersofmyforehead。Then，Yukarierasedmymemoryofthewholeenter，fromhearingtheversatihttothatmoment，andshealsoplacedthreespellsinsideme。Oneinmymindtoslowdownmythinkingandthesharpnessofmyfaculties，oneinmyspioslowmedowninmymovements，andoneinmyheartthatwouldturoaremote-trolledexplosivedeviceatherand。

IonlyrememberedtheseafterIwokeup。DuringtherestofthedreamIhadnorecolleofwhathadhappethefootofthemountain。Ilostsciousnessandfellasleep。

Iwokeuptowardtheeveningandfoundmyselfbyaniinglookingrock。Imusthavegoneovertotakealook，andfellasleepthere。

IwentbacktoKageyama，andcouldnotrunveryfast。Itshouldnothavebeenthattiring，evenforuphill，asitwassiderablyeasierthanjumpiweenrocks。

IwasveryexhaustedwhenIfinallygotbadwenttobedsoonafterwards。Ifoundmyselfverysleepyduringtheday，alessinthenight，withveryshallowsleep。Towardmyeighthbirthday，IhadlostallcapabilitytouandAkishi’sdemos，andIfeltnoinklingofenteringthesileall。

Lifebecameverydepressingasaresult。IbelievebymyninthbirthdayIhadentirelygivenup。IaskedArashitowatchthesuwithmeforthelasttime，andIfeltabittermixtureofplicatedemotions。Thesettingsunwaswarm，thelapofArashiwasf，myheartwasindespair，mytearswereflowing。。。

Arashiletmestaythere，withmyheadonherlap，untiltheeveningwindwastoocoldforme。Ikhatwastheendformyeffortstostandbesideher。Ihadwatchedthesuwithherforthelasttime。

Isigneduptobeakithelperinthem，andaingstaffintheearlyevening。IenjoyedcookinganditmademefeellikeamemberofKageyamaagainwhenIservedfoodinthecafeteriaandsaidhitomyformerclassmates。ingduties，oherhand，weredepressinghoursofloneliness。RemindihatIhadgivenupandhadbeebehind，mymindoftenwandered。

Asaneveningingstaff，IwentintotheHalleverydayoftheweek。Iedclassrooms，offices，laboratoriesandsterooms。IoftenfoundmyselflostindaydreamswhenIwasing，andwouldeventuallysnapoutofittowardthelateendofthenight。

NowasI’mwritingthisdowninmyjournal，IthinkImusthavebeenturnedintoadolltoflipthroughdotsandmanuscripts。ItwouldbeusefulforHimeyamatohaveanaccurateuandingoftheoppos’knowledgeandabilities，andtheproofofthisguessisthat，afterIsuddenlysnappedoutofmydaydreams，IdidnothaveanyrecolleofwhatIwasthinkingabout。ButIneverfoundthatsuspicious，probablyduetoYukari’sspellonmymentalcapacity。

NowasIamwritingthisinmyjournal，Iwonder。。。Ifoundoutaboutwhathadhappenedbythewater-erodedrockbecauseIretrievedmymemorybackfromwhatwasoncelockeduppartofmymind，whereaswhenIwasturnedintoadoll，myawarenessmusthadbeenforcedintohibernation。Sincemy‘self’washerewhenIgotturnedintoadoll，IwasnotabletoknowwhathadhappenedorwhatthedolldidwhenIwokeupfromthedreamearliertoday。

Aspartofmyingduties，IalsowenttothetraltowerthatsatatoptheMainHall。Theofficesforinstructorsofswordsmanshiptookuptwofloors，andabovethosefloorssatthelibrary，whichtookupfivefloors。Oopwastheseofforbiddenbooks。

Akishionceexplaiomethatsinceforbiddenmagidalchemyalwaysdemandedagreaterpricetobepaidbytheuserthanthepromisedgain，againwhilyhappenedbyaslimce，thesetitles，sidereddangerouselsewhere，wereavailableforopenbrowsinghereatKageyama。

Locatedontopofthelibrarywasthecellor’soffidaseriesofsmalllockedrooms。Ifoundmyselfdaydreamingforlonghoursstandinginfrontofthosedoors。IsupposethatHimeyamawastryingtogainaccesstothem。Maybeimportantsecuritydotsandchartswerekeptthere，butIwouldneverknow。

Iguess，nowI’mwritingthis，thatbeinganeveningingstaffwasaveryeffitwaytoeffectivelyspyonKageyama。

Iwasakithelperandingstafffor，Ithink，atotalofsevenyears。Iwassixteenafterthosesevenyears，andArashiwastwentyone，Akishiwastwentyfive，andHideowastwentythree，soontobetwentyfour。

ThatyearArashigotmarried。Arashihadbeeoneoftheelderswithhermasteryofthesword。Shewasaninstructorattheageofseventeen，andwaselevatedtotheprestigiousstatusayearandhalflater。

Hideobecameasuccessfulalchemist，aablishedhisownworkshopatKageyama。Iwasn’tawareofhowthetwogottogether，butIwasalittleenviousaful。IthoughtHide’owasnotgoodenoughforArashi。

IboughtanobsidianbroochforArashi，andgaveittoherasagiftthedaybeforethemarriage。Iwishedherallthebest。Lotsofstudentsgavegiftstoherthatday。Ibelieve，atthattime，ArashihadbeetheiofKageyama。MorestudentsjoinedafterhearingtheLegendaryElderwhohadadvancedinrankswellpasttherestoftheworld，attheageofeighteenandhalf。

Theweddingwassupposedlygrandandsweet。Ididnotgo。Isatalonebythewestclifffortheentiredaythatday。

Peopletalkedaboutitfordaysafterwards，andthecakewassupposedlysublime。IexcusedmyselffrommykitjobduringthoseweeksbecauseIdidnotwanttobepartofit。

EventuallyIcouldnottakeallthegossipabouthowlovelythenewcouplewaswhenIwaswiorservingmeals，andIquitmykitjob。Ispentmydaysinthelibraryreading，andmyeveningsing。

Twoyearslater，Arashiregnant。Istoppediingwithothersatall。IevenstoppedtalkingtoAkishi，whohadbeeoneofthecellor’sassistants。Ididnotwanttohearpeopleeagerlydiscusswhatbabyclothestoprepare。

Theinfantwasborn，andArashibecamemothertoalittlebabygirlnamedRan，whichmeantorchid。Ranwassenttothecaveswithapileofbabyclothes，manyofthemmadebystudentsandinstructors。Then，aweeklater，newscamebackfromthecave。Arashi’saura，whichwasvisiblewhenevershetratedherstrengthintohersword，wasseenonRan。ThisauraprotectedRaneverysinglemoment，auallythedirectorofthecavedecidedtotakethebabytotheopening，andthebabydidfineisideair。Thiswasthefirsttimeinhistorythatahumanchildcouldsurviveosideofacrystalcaveafterthreedaysofbeingborn。Usually，themother’sspiritwasonlyabletoprotectthechildforthreedaysafterbirth，andthatwasthetimethatpeoplehadtbabiestocavesfortheirownsafety。

RanwasbroughtbacktoKageyama。Therewasanenormouscelebration，asnowafamilycouldfinallybetogether。

Ihadfinishedreadingallregularbooksonmagicayearearlier，anddidnotfindthemhelpfuliingsomeabilitybame。Ithenstartedreadingbooksonforbiddenmagidalchemy。