02小说网

にっき（第2页）

AnultimatumarrivedsoonfromHimeyama，demandingunditionalsurrender。IguessaftertheyheardaboutArashi’sdeparture，theyfiguredthatKageyamawasalreadygoodasdead。

EveryonewrotetoArashi。Everyoinlittlemementosfromtheirdayswithherorincludedlittlestoriesoftheirmemoryofbeingwithher。WeallkhatKageyamawouldbenomore。Wewouldputonabraveresistahatwouldnshametotheproudtraditionofturies，andwewoulddiestanding，asgallantwarriors。Elderswiththeirexpertiseinmagicdrewamatrix，andusingArashi’sbelongingsleftinherroom，theywereabletogetthematrixtotransporttheboxofletterstowhereArashiwas。

Iwroteashortnoteaswell。IfeltguiltysinceIwastheoakingRanawayfromKageyama，andIspentalmosttwoyearswiththecutebabygirlwhenArashilivedinagony。IapologizedtoArashifortakingpartintherudeoffenseagainsther，andIwishedherahappypeacefullifewithRan。

etothinkofit，IdidnothearanythingaboutwhathappeoHide’o。Istilldon’tknowwhereheendedup。

Thedayoftheattackcame。Everyonefoughtbravely。However，themilitarystrengthofHimeyamawascrushingdownonKageyama。Thesheermultitudeofsoldiersiroopswasunbelievable。

Iwasinthelibrary，withmylastattemptatsummoningmagic。IreallylikedmydaysatKageyama，andIwaswillingtodieforit。

Ourcellorwasthefirstintheformation，followedbytheelders，thentheinstructors，andfinallystudentsandservicestaff。Somewerefortuodieinbattle，butmostofthemwerecapturedaliveafterbeingbadlywounded。

IstillhadnotsucceededinsummoningmagidwastakenprisonerwhenHimeyama’sforcesductedathhsearchofthecampus。

ThentheFiveappeared。Yukaripronouhatduetoourfailuretoproperlysurrender，weweretoberightfullydisciplined。Ryō’seyeswereglowing。

Onebyone，membersofKageyamaweretorturedtodeathatthehandsofRyō，whohadtakenalongallhernewlydesigneddevicesforthis“leisureouting”ofhers。Wewereallmadetowatch。Thosewhotriedtolookawayfromtheunbearablesightwerebroughtclosetothese，hadtheirheadforciblyheldup，andtheireyesfixedwithspellssotheycouldnotclosetheireyelids。

Beingtheonlyohoutpreviousinjuries，Ryōsavedmeforthelast，andsheaskedaroundforawagertobemadeonhowlongIwouldbekeptalivewhilebeing‘played’with。

Ihadallmynailspulled，allmybonesbrokenintotinypieces，oatime，whileMidoriusedhermagictokeepmefromlosingsciousness。IthinkRyōwasjustabouttolightmyfeetonfirewhenIsawArashiappear;Iguessshedecidedtoeafterall。

Suddenly，IfeltthatIcouldmoveagain，andthatmightbeahalluation。However，Ikhatforsomereason，IwouldimmediatelysucceedifIsummonedmagicbysacrifigmybody。

Iimaginedagreatswordoflightandshadows，andtedLumenHilareinmyhead。Mybodyturnedintotinyparticlesoflight，andthatlightwaslikeacloud，withoutform。Myspiritwasfreedfromthetorturedevice，andmysciousnessresidedwithmyspirit。

Iimaginedmylefthandwiththumb，index，andmiddlefingergatheredintoasinglepoint，asasymbolofthedivirinity，andmyrighthandwasheldoverit，ftheChi-Rhohaureoftheorthodoxsaints。AndasingularsphereoflightappearedbetweenwhereIimaginedmyhandstobe。Themagichadsuccessfullytakenshape。

Iimaginedseeingthisspherebeingarayoflight，thenIimaginedswingingthisraytodottheskywithlights，andfinallyIimagiherayandthedotsallbeingswordsoflightandshadows。

Iwassuccessfulineverystep。

Iofferedmyspiritastheprice，andaheswordstorainontheHimeyamaforces。Itworked。Everysingleoneofthemwasdead，includingtheFive。

IsawahollowspherethatRyōhadthatwashangingoffherbelt。Itwasmadeofgoldenthreadandsilverlace，andprobablyalsorosegoldfeathers。Ithadsomethinginit。ItwasdanglingrightinfrontofmeasIwasbeingtortured。

Anyhow，whenswordsoflightandshadowspiercedRyō，oneoftheswordsdestroyedthatdecoration，andIhadasharppaininmyspiritbeing，asifsomepartofmehadbeenannihilated。Iguessshesomehowtookafragmentofmybeingandimprisothere，andnoartofmewasgoneforever。

AfterHimeyamaforceswerewipedout，Istartedtodisappear，startingfromthefeetofmyspiritbody。IsawArashitakingoutalittledoll，whichlookedfamiliar。IguessitwasoneofthedollsImadeforRan。Arashitriedtoelmysciousnessintothedoll。Ithoughtshewassuccessful，asthenIwas‘looking’atherthroughtheeyesofthedoll。

Butthen，Iheardhersaythatithadfailed。Somehowmysoulwasnotplete，andshecouldnotpreservemysoulinthedoll。SoIguessRyōsomehowtookafragmentofsoulandtrappeditinthathollowsphere，whichhadjustbeeroyed。

IsawArashisligopentimeandspace，andsheseoit，andtoldmetoliveinadifferentworld，whereaninpletesoulexist。Andshewishedmepeadhappiness。

AsIamwritingthis，IwonderwhyArashicameforme。MaybetakingcareofRanasasiherwasveryhard，andshethoughtofthetwoyearsthatIhadraisedRanbymyself，withoutanysupport，andhadtoavoidraisingsuspifromanyone。

Maybeshehadthelittledollwithhersothatshecouldgiveittome，ormaybetoburyitwithmybody。Ireallydon’tknow。Maybesherememberedthedayswhechedcloudsandsusonthewestcliff，wheresheleaptoff，ormaybeshehadreadmyapologyandcametogivethelittledolltotellmethatIwasfiven。

IguessIwouldneverfindout。

Ifinallywokeupfromthedream，anditwasaboutanhourpastmidnight。IthinkIlivedatotaloffifteenyearsinthatdream。Itfeltabitsurrealthatithadonlybeenthreeorfourhoursinreallife。Iwasabitshaken，distressed，andbewildered。IthinkIspentsometimelyingawakespeechlessbeforeIfellasleepagain。

AsIamwritinginmyjournalrightnow，Iguess，well，whoknows。

Maybeaportionofmysoulisactuallymissing。Iamneverfully“there”。Aportionofmysciousnesshasalwaysbeendisengaged--lostsomewhereinouterspace，aspeoplewouldsay。

Eveninbed，Iwasneverabletobefullypresentinthemoment。IaskedmyspousetotryBDSMstuffonme，inadesperateattempt，hopingtogetmetobeinthemomentwiththehelpofpain，butithadneverworked。

Somaybethat’sjustbecausemysoulisinplete。Well，thatexplanationisasgoodasany。